It was a rough end of the year for me. I try hard not to resent the families abandon their older relatives at the emergency department... "Grandma (who is 96 and unable to walk without assistance) attacked us"... My own family, parents, grandparents, siblings has decreased to two (my brother and grandmother) over the last few years. I don't know if I'll ever share the joy of the winter seasons again like I did in years before. I hate that people can just throw the gift of family away.
My heart breaks when the holiday passes and the poor 'social admissions' wonder what they did, cry for their families or stare blankly at the wall. The families rarely seemed to visit.
I did have a lovely time reflecting on the year to come though. I'm hopeful that it will be a monumental series of experiences.
I don't normally make resolutions but I'm determined to squeeze out every bit of adventure, enjoyment, stimulation and happiness that I can. I have a tendency to be complacent; spending my time reading in my apartment and being alone. The last few years of my life have revolved around taking care of my mother, my grandmother, my brother's family and work. I hadn't made any plans because other things were more important. I fell into a deep gloomy rut.
I want to get up and go every morning, make plans and rediscover an anticipation of life that I've somehow lost. I won't wait anymore for things to just happen; I will do.
I've got months of time off saved up and I'm going to use every drop before I leave my job.
That's my New Year's Resolution.