Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Drink of Choice

It was a very busy day at work tonight. The hospitals in the area are at red alert; maximum census. We traded and juggled patients within our unit and with other floors to maximize bed usage. I'm the one responsible for making sure that, in these situations, the patient's television and meal services follow him/her.

We have different bed models and I have to make sure that the model bed in the room is suitable for the particular patient. Some beds can support the trapezes used by the orthopedic patients, others can't. Some beds can be lowered closer to the floor for the lols and loms who have trouble getting up. With a dozen discharges and admits/transfers, it can get fairly hectic.

All in all, there were dozens of little tasks that needed to be balanced throughout the night. Charge and I, deflected some of the stress fantasizing about paradise. It didn't include 72 virgins but rather several handsome men (we decided that we didn't need as many as 72), tropical beaches and endless backrubs and beverages.

Anyhoo, I mentioned that I don't care for most liquor but that an occasional scotch is divine.

One of the nurse's came back to the desk as I was describing my drink of choice: a rich, peaty scotch with hints of wood, straight up.

It wasn't until she laughed that I realized that it sounded like I was mixing my fantasies up. And so a new euphemism 'sipping the scotch' was born into our unit vernacular, joining, among others: "nasonexing the gift" -another sexual reference whose etymology is convoluted and traces back to the behavior of one of our frequent flyer patients.

Oh the things we come up with....

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