Thursday, April 5, 2012


My neighbors are fighting again. They scream, swear and throw violent words at each other. It’s actually rather filmy. I’m listening to tranquil Leonard Cohen and eavesdropping on a explicit fight. The walls are thin; eavesdropping is inevitable.

Neighbors usually like me. I’m very quiet. I think about my relationships. They’ve all been boringly civilized. My last boyfriend and I broke up in a Vietnamese restaurant. Silent tears over a steaming bowl of pho and a hug at the end. He remains a friend.

I once dated someone who had abusive tendencies. It didn’t last long. Though it was, by far, my very worst breakup, I helped carry his boxes to the car. He drove away. I waved. We never spoke again. (best day of my life btw)

I’m not a screamer but it fascinates me when people react so strongly that they shout and scream and break things. They’re so very alive. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to lose that control. I just can't picture myself letting go like that.

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