Neighbors

My neighbors are fighting again. They scream, swear and throw violent words at each other. It’s actually rather filmy. I’m listening to tranquil Leonard Cohen and eavesdropping on a explicit fight. The walls are thin; eavesdropping is inevitable.

Neighbors usually like me. I’m very quiet. I think about my relationships. They’ve all been boringly civilized. My last boyfriend and I broke up in a Vietnamese restaurant. Silent tears over a steaming bowl of pho and a hug at the end. He remains a friend.

I once dated someone who had abusive tendencies. It didn’t last long. Though it was, by far, my very worst breakup, I helped carry his boxes to the car. He drove away. I waved. We never spoke again. (best day of my life btw)

I’m not a screamer but it fascinates me when people react so strongly that they shout and scream and break things. They’re so very alive. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to lose that control. I just can't picture myself letting go like that.